Dating too soon after divorce

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This is so for a few reasons: the leaver may have done most of his or her grieving during the relationship - perhaps even before the leavee knew anything was wrong - and the leavee has much more to process than just the end of a marriage or long term union.

He or she may also need to recover from the sense of rejection and abandonment that comes up.

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What is important to know for anyone getting into a new relationship following a long term relationship is that, if you are not done grieving, the new person or situation may serve as a temporary distraction, but the anger, sadness, fear or hurt you need to feel will not go away until it is fully expressed.

But as a therapist, I don't think there is a "too soon." I don't see the choice to get into a new relationship as one of timing at all. Rather than quantify the space between relationships in amount of months or years, I'd like to see people focus more on how "healed" or "emotionally raw" or "in grief" someone is or isn't.

Obviously, some time needs to pass to have healing happen and perhaps we focus on time because it is the only thing we can truly measure.

“This wildly varies from person to person,” says Judith Sills, Ph D, a Philadelphia-based psychologist and author of Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted.

“Everyone ends a relationship by grieving the emotional investment.

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