Purpose dating relationships
• Is the purpose of a relationship to make us feel ‘normal’ – whatever that normal is, so that we don’t stand out being a ‘single’?
• Is a relationships supposed to make us feel complete?
The reason many young people have failed in the dating game is that they have never clearly understood the objectives.
If you ask a group of students, "Why are you dating?
"You just said that we ought to date a lot of people to learn and grow and all that stuff, but I really disagree," said a woman seated in the first row at one of my seminars. If I could have screamed louder without breaking the microphone, I would have. I date to find a mate."I did not know any of the facts of her life. You need more than anyone to go out with many different kinds of men for a number of reasons. One of the first steps people need is to be cured of the thinking that the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner. But here is what I'm trying to say: Dating is as much about learning what you need and want, and how you need to grow and change, as it is about finding the "right" person. Tiger Woods grew up with the goal of winning more major golf tournaments than anyone in history. What if Tiger had said early on, "I will not play in any other tournament than the U. Or what if a medical student said, "I will only take the ultimate job in my life's career?
• Are we as human beings and social animals meant to be part of a pair and does that come back to being part of a pair in order to pro-create? • Is being in a relationship what is expected of us by our culture, our society, our family?
If he doesn't have the potential for a serious relationship that could lead to marriage, I don't want to go out with him.""What's your hurry? The recently divorced woman at my seminar needed to date a lot of men to find out how "off" she was in her ability to see what is good and to pick a good man.
""Well, I'm forty–two, I've been married once before, and I want to be married again. Without dating for the sake of learning, she would not do that.
WILL present.and clear Later on, you come to a point where you have gained enough self knowledge/confidence.well as mastering all those "desired" traits which you are looking for in someone.start attracting(unless you still aren't listening to the flashing red lights) the kind of people who may "fit" exactly what you are seeking.. And I do think it a good idea to be in at least one long term serious relationship before getting married. I think that my sex drive is just fine, but I am only interested in making love, and I'm not interested in having sex for the sake of fun or physical release or ego boosting. Otherwise, all my life I've had many great male platonic friends, and from spending time with them, I've gotten a good sense of what sort of personalities and traits I prefer in a boyfriend.
And with time will come that one person who stands out amongst all the rest.. I have no regrets about my romantic past and with each failed relationship, I learned how to sort out my priorities and do it better. I feel there are many very enjoyable things to do in life, not just having sex. And I would never date a man that thought having sex and looking at porn was the most enjoyable activity in his life. So I haven't needed to do any actual field research by dating lots of different men in order to achieve the same purpose.