If he doesn't love me that absolutely, or (okay, let's be honest here) doesn't show signs of being about to become the kind of person who wants to be the first in the emergency room with me when I'm full of tubes and needles, when my life or death is visible in little green zig-zaggy lines and audible in beeps, when my face can barely be seen under the sheets and the masks, when the nurse checks every few minutes to write things down on the clipboard - then I don't know if I can find within myself the emotional energy to do the things to his penis that give him such exquisite pleasure. Technorati Tags: better than sex, netspeak, okcupid, single dads This site chronicles my personal dating stories.Although I may be a bit more torn about the reasons why I enjoy sex (I quite like being in a position of power that allows me to pleasure a lovely penis), I agree that this feeling she's describing is a familiar one to me. I basically said just that, after pondering my response for a couple of days. He hasn't "gotten any" since he had his son, so he was trying to convince himself that caring for a child could replace (or at least make you forget about) physical intimacy with an adult you're romantically involved with. I'll share the juicy details of how I met my dates, what happened on said dates, how I dealt with breakups, and what I did to find (and keep) the partnership I've always sought.â€ At 32, I feel the same way most of the time, still not quite understanding my friends who require regular trips to their dealer or the liquor store to numb their lives just a little bit longer. For my 31 birthday I retardedly decided to erase my own pain with some yet-to-be-named white, tasteless liquor that went down oh-to-well, leaving my friends to force water down my throat at every corner and walking me not unlike their precious Fidoâ€™s. His call to said girlfriend, hanging from a tree encased in toilet paper after an especially raucious party, â€œWhereâ€™s my sexy GIRLfriend? Words that, when proffered to me in a very particular combination, remind me of the blood coursing through my veins and how lovely it is to be alive, even if what Iâ€™m feeling isnâ€™t terribly pleasant.Technorati Tags: Behinder, delusional, Goblin, heartbroken, sex doll I shared with Goblin earlier that I'd decided to devote today and tomorrow to feeling sorry for myself.To cry as much as I could and wallow in heartbreak the way only a 30-year-old woman can: by listening to Soft Cell's Tainted Love, eating fat free chocolate pudding pops and laughing at how her methods of dealing with a breakup haven't changed in 15 years.So he not only purposefully hid this tidbit from me, but he went out of his way to tell me he was only casually dating instead of the "not casual" relationship he's having.
He purposely led me on and deceived me, so really, its time to accept Behinder chose a sex doll over substance -- and move on.I feel warm and sexy even though my awkwardness never really went away.A million things go through my mind, but they only take a second to register.The fact that it came from a foreign exchange student wasnâ€™t lost on me, and my affinity for people from other places still lives on, partially because of this one line in a silly little movie that definitely hasnâ€™t made it through the test of time.When I hear those words, I am instantly taken back in time.